Monday, April 11, 2011

struggling

This blog is about the simple joys in life and the many reasons to smile. Lately that has been getting more difficult. I am a Christian and have been since I was 7 years old. I have lost sight of things and had to get back on track more than once through the course of my life. I think I have been doing well but it seems like the more I try to stay positive and not get defeated, the more the storms come. I'm sure this is the case for a lot of people.

Last month my husband and I made the very tough decision to send my little sister back to live with my mom. We also went through a miscarriage which is probably the hardest thing we have ever been through. We were upset and depressed a lot. There were lots of sleepless nights filled with tears of grief but we came through it. It's still sad but we can see the sun again. This month, so far, we have gotten a phone bill for almost $600, stressed over the potential government shut down since it directly affects my military husband's paycheck, and are actively researching preschools for our son. We have felt anger, fear, anxiety, and a sense of just being overwhelmed. I have tried to see the good in things but I struggled. Today I made it my mission to enjoy things, to see the good, and to find an honest reason to smile. When I started looking it became a little easier. My son playing with a vintage ninja turtle action figure is way cute, being finished with the laundry feels nice, the warm sun on my face seems calming. All of those things may not sound like much to some people, but for me it's enough. It's enough to want to do pilates so that I can begin to have a reason to smile about my body and weight. It's enough to want to finish decorating our bathroom and adding candles so it will be waiting for me when I decide to take a long, relaxing bubble bath. It's also enough to appreciate when my son wants me to come sit in his room just to be with me.

Sometimes it's easy to smile because you have every reason in the world. Other times you really have to look for a reason but if you look in the right places it won't take long before you feel centered and happy again. Isn't that what life is all about anyway?

No comments:

Post a Comment